Starting Conversations Can Be Difficult
Starting Conversations Can Be Difficult

Starting Conversations Can Be Difficult

Conversations

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in years of interacting with people online, it’s that starting a new conversation can be a daunting process.  You find some great topic that you’re sure people will be interested in, you carefully set out your own thoughts and opinions on it, you craft a rational, persuasive and thought provoking post, and you hit “Submit.”

And then nothing happens.  And continues to happen. And then it happens some more.

And the doubt sets in.

Did anybody see it?  Did everybody hate it?  Was it stupid?  Puerile?  Old news?  Are you a terrible writer?  Does everybody hate you?  Are they deliberately ignoring you? Aren’t you worth their time? Should you repost it or bump it or whatever your chosen platform requires?

Don’t worry about it too much.  It happens to everybody.  It’s nothing personal mostly.  With the constant information overload we’re all subject to these days, every second of attention is a valuable asset, and even the most interested audience might not have the attention to spare.  There are plenty of attention-grabbing tactics out there, (note my first ever deliberately added post image ;) ) but all that means is the signal to noise ratio fluctuates wildly.

Shouting Into The Void

Sometimes the internet feels like a big, energetic party where you’re maybe lucky if you know a few people. (Who you probably tend to cluster around.)  And the audience issue is one that I’ve always personally had problems with when it came to social media marketing.  If you don’t have an audience, it doesn’t matter how brilliant you are.  You’re just shouting into the void and there’s not even an echo back.

I’ve seen this break the will of even the most enthusiastic poster.  Pouring hours or days of effort into something and sending it out, only to get nothing.  Not even an acknowledgement that somebody has seen your work, let alone some faint praise.  “Are they just too polite to tell me it sucks?”  (By this point, even being told it sucks would be something.)

Yep, starting conversations can be hard.

There Are Easier Ways

But you know what?  Joining them is easy.  There are hundreds of millions of active conversations out there.  All you need to do is join in.

Joining a conversation has a lot of advantages over starting one.  For one thing, it’s usually already ongoing.  That gives you a lot more room to manoeuvre.  You can say something about the original topic, you can ask a question.  You can say something about something somebody else said if you want.  Or ask them a question, or maybe even answer one of theirs.  There’s less pressure, and there’s less perceived expectation.  You can take it easy.

Some very clever people online (who know what they’re talking about) have made authenticity a hot topic these days.  Of course, it’s an issue that writers (fiction writers not content writers) struggle with all the time.  Their job is a lot harder though.  They have to fake authenticity well enough to make it seem absolutely real.  That’s very difficult to do.

We’re Naturally Authentic

As participants in the incredible social experiment that is the web, all we have to do in order to achieve it is actually be authentic.  A fictional character is, by it’s very nature, not authentic.  It can’t be, because it has no character other than what the writer gives it.  We on the other hand all have actual characters.  We just have to practice expressing them.

And because (you see how I return to the point) you can take it easy when you join a conversation, you sound, talk, and even think more naturally.

Be Mindful

This is not to say that you need to go out and comment on everything you see of course.  There’s no need to overdo it.  But you can find a thousand conversations on things you’re interested in or good at, or even just curious about where your participation will be not only relevant, but valuable as well.  Because you can rest assured that whoever started those conversations felt the same way you did about yours.

So if I have any advice to give on the subject of online conversations, it’s get out there and join in.  Let people see that you’re a real thinking human being behind that profile and that you have something meaningful to say.  And once people get to know you, you might find that they’re interested in the conversations you want to start.

Start At The Beginning

Before you can get people to listen to you, showing them that you’re listening to them is a good idea.  So stop worrying so much about getting your own conversations started.  Get out there and join in with a few honest, relevant and well chosen comments.  You’ll be amazed at where it can lead you.